A Few Things About Me

Kiiiiiinda stole this from a journal did earlier today lol  Get To Know MeHello everyone! I've been putting this off for a while, but I've been wanting to share /a lot/ about who I am. It's probably not the safest thing to do, but at the same time, I just have this want and need to invite people in to possibly make new friends, or to even inspire others in some way. ^^
Originally I was going to make this an "ask me anything" type of journal, but, I know that some lovely peeps who follow me are either shy, or have social anxiety, and the majority of others probably won't have anything in mind to ask or say!
So I decided, I'll just go ahead and share as much about myself as I can, although I know I'll forget to cover a lot of things. XD
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I just thought it was really cool and inspirational so I wanted to take a crack at a similar kind of thing since I've been trying to be a more open individual on an emotional,social, and physical level. Not gonna be sharing everything obviously, but just a few basic things I haven;t really been as direct about that frankly you guys should probably know about me. Some of these maybe be a bit lewd, some of them not, I dunno I'm just sort of typing along didn't really plan that far ahead lol. So if you're not really into getting all personal and shit I'd click off this journal.
Let's get this started

- I suffer from and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder/anxiety. It's something I battle with every day and i'll be honest, never really get's any better at least not for long. I do have good days and sometimes my medication can help a bit. But these conditions have always been a huge weight on my life, it's made looking for work hard and making friends very difficult. It's also whats made me so emotionally closed off and so easily embarrassed and self loathing.

- I'm pretty clingy to the few I open up to. BE FOREWARNED. Friendship with me will result in me being pretty clingy. Ask basically anyone I message on Skype. I tend to message quite a bit even if there's no response. Yes I know it's annoying, yes I'm trying to work on it. t's a result of my anxiety sadly. My greatest fear is losing friends, and I constantly worry that I might have done something without noticing that makes someone not want to be friends anymore.

- I used to have really serious self image issues. This is something I basically never talk about because well, it's sort of embarrassing in a way, no one really likes to admit they have a problem like that, but many of us do. However recently I've been living healthier to try and gain more weight *I'm only about 115 pounds sadly*, and develop the body type I want,and it's been coming along quite nicely to be frank, I've gained more weight by eating better and exercising and I've been making progress really fast. For once I'm quite proud of myself.

- I like gothy stuff. Granted i'm like the worst goth ever but gothy stuff, especially goth fashion looks cool and interesting to me.

- I'm not afraid to be in touch with my feminine side, at least not anymore. Part of this whole thing with getting over my self image issues has been about pushing a lot of boundaries I've set for myself, for the longest time, stuff like make up and certain feminine articles of clothing *mostly knee and thigh high socks to be honest* have interested me and just recently I've been taking more of an interest in them, mostly in more gothy stuff to be fair. I mean I'm not always walking around with eye liner and knee highs, in fact usually i wear fairly large baggy clothing. but from time to time its fun and a touch liberating. 

- I'm not afraid of my sexuality or discussing it, in fact I embrace it. Kinda getting into slightly more lewd stuff *I did warn you* but this is something thats very true of me. And not just in the sense I draw porn from time to time. I mean quite in the real world as well. I'm rather pretty open about my sexuality and things that interest me sexually. I've never been offended by people asking for nudes or whatever because I feel sexuality is a natural thing we shouldn't shun. Of course there's a time and a place, like i'm not gonna go into red lobster and just casually discuss my dick size or whatever, but I do consider my sexuality and the way I present it to be a huge part of my identity, not the whole thing mind you, theres other aspects as well, I'm not totally consumed by sex, or by how gay I am or whatever.

-I believe the human body is beautiful for both physical genders. Yes I'm gay so I feel no attraction to females, but that doesn't mean that their bodies aren't beautiful.There's a certain purity that comes with nudity in a sense, both in a sexual and artistic sense I suppose. Yes this means I am obscenely comfortable with nudity almost to a fault I'd say. I spend an abnormal amount of time in the nude at home and could care less who sees me, which...come to think of it I know a lot of people like that both online and off.. go figure. I wouldn't say i'm a nudist as I do still wear clothes often, have favorite clothes I like to wear, and do have days where I just wanna wear clothes, but generally I'm more comfortable naked.

- To get out of the sex related stuff , I have an insanely dark sense of humor, I mean it's not like every joke I make is horrible, actually the more I think about it most of my jokes are just awful puns. But I am able to laugh at, or at the very least remain unphased by very dark jokes provided the intent isn't to hurt anyone or just to be shocking for the sake of being shocking *cough cough family guy cough*. The way I see it, if we can laugh at things that cause us pain and misery, I figure we can get through pretty much anything.

- Random funny little one, I can't cook to save my life, I don't know why I just can't. Just thought that;d be a funny one to bring up.

- Despite cherishing all of my closest relationships sometimes I can suck at staying in touch. Sometimes I forget, sometimes my anxiety prevents me. It's something I'm trying to work on but it's a very slow process.


I think thats about it for now. Might have gone a smidge TMI for this but oh well lol. The whole point of this was to open myself up to you guys and I feel like I've done that.

So now I leave you, hope this gives you a bit more insight on what i'm like in real life.If not..well I dunno I just hope you have a good evening ^^